Most people do a lot of talking but don’t ever put any action behind it. You know the phrase, talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. I have come to realise that for a lot of people they simply like to just talk.
It used to really wind me up when people would talk about something & then I would attempt to help them do whatever it is they said they wanted & then they wouldn’t follow through. They would then start talking about it again & the cycle would continue. I would find myself becoming more invested mentally & emotionally on whatever they said they wanted than they were. I realise now that they never really asked for my help so that was my own fault but even when they did, I would put in more effort than them. I no longer do that because like I said most people simply like to talk. Especially when that talking is moaning.
It’s a lot easier to talk about things than actually do them & well it’s “free” to talk. You don’t really have to invest anything to talk, hence the phrase, talk is cheap. As people are selfish anyway they will do whatever is best for them. If something is working for them, they aren’t going to willingly change it for you, especially if it is to their detriment. I know it sounds “wrong” or “unfair” especially when you can see someone is blatantly using someone, but it’s the truth.
I honestly have a level of respect people who are openly selfish, and by that I mean they don’t try & hide it. It is down to the other person to enforce their boundaries. Most people will talk to others & moan about it but they don’t actively do anything to change it. They allow themselves to be a doormat & no amount of help from anyone else will help them until they help themselves.
I am more of solutions person. I used to be someone who focused on problems but now I focus on solutions & it’s made life much easier. Instead of dwelling on the problem & simply talking about them, I look for a solution. It may take me 10 different tries but I spend less time talking & more time doing. If I want something changing I actively work to change it.
People spend a lot of time saying how unfair things are instead of simply accepting that life isn’t fair, it’s simply life. Once you accept that, you can move on & look at how to make things work for you. As hard as it initially was, I had to accept that I can’t help people who aren’t helping themselves & I stopped doing it. I realised that the only solution is to offer my help once they stop talking & start doing. Even if I am asked, & I say yes to helping however, I still wait for them to start doing because from experience some people will ask for help, but expect you to do it all & wont actually do anything. I also don’t do more than they are doing so if they’re doing the bare minimum, I will help but it will be the bare minimum.
I allow people to set their pace, boundaries & the amount of effort and then follow their lead. By doing this I have found that I do a lot less because most people don’t want to walk the walk & so they move on to someone else or continue to simply talk. Be honest with yourself, are you a talker or a walker?
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